Riot and Frolic

Don't Know What I'm Doing: Hot Jam

A couple of people have compared me to Jessica Day from "The New Girl" and I usually blow it off as she's a great Every Girl who epitomizes how many of us feel from day to day.  

But tonight, I'm excitedly sitting in my dining room listening to the lids on my cans pop.

AKA, I'm having a JAM-boree.

Hot JAM, it's warm in here.

I'm canning.

Jam.

I've done some simple canning before.  I think only ever tomatoes.  And those are exciting enough!

But now the bar has been raised. 

There has been pectin and sugar and "setting" to worry about.  

But a mere two hours later (the kitchen is even CLEAN; I know, shut up), 4 out of 9 half-pint jars of strawberry jam agree that I didn't totally blow it.

The day started out innocently enough, when the crew and I picked roughly 20 pounds of berries.  And if you thought the 7 of us could destroy a "party size" bag of M&Ms, you should have seen us plow through this sign of summer.

[Note: we are in the middle of Strawberry Week where we are reading awesome books such as The Little Mouse, The Red Ripe Strawberry, and the Big Hungry Bear aaaaand creepy ones like The Grey Lady and the Strawberry Snatcher, eating lots of strawberries, and Wimbledon.]

Anyhow, I felt I had to start putting my excellent jar collection (thanks, C&J!) to use and I figured I could sneak 5 pounds of strawberries away from the fam if I threw on some Pinky & The Brain cartoons after they were all tuckered out from swimming (thanks, B&K!).  

I read three different sets of directions about 50 times each: the recipe that came with the Sure-Jell pectin, the Ball canning website strawberry jam recipe, and The Pioneer Woman's pictorial version.

I followed directions.

I rejoiced when I saw my jam had set in the pot while I was taking the jars out of the water.  Because if I've learned anything from British television, it's that a runny jam is not going to cut it.

And...

PING

Now 6 out 9 jars agree that I'm not a moron.

Doing Weird Things

I've been trying new things lately.  They often seem weird and I often feel stupid attempting them.  Most of the time, I don't have anything but my wits and good ol' Google helping me out.

I've Instant-Potted four things in one day so I didn't have to turn on the oven or stove.

The garden has gotten new plants (some which have been previously ventured and failed miserably) because dammit, I'm going to grow some shit.

I've drilled holes into plaster and lath.

Most recently, I've tried doing more Instagram stories.  [insert laughing crying emoji here]

I'm pretty sure I've done a lot of other cool stuff, but you get the picture.

The fun part is that what seemed weird at first now seems pretty easy, but I had to keep trying them.  

JUST LIKE DANCING.

I don't know if you remember learning how to do a Rumba box (International dancers, stay with me), but it was pretty weird for most of you. The majority of you did that unnecessary tap step after your forward and back steps (forward, tap, side together, back, tap, side together), you couldn't stay on beat unless someone was counting loudly in your ear or holding you on time a bit, you often skipped and/or added a step out of nowhere, and a good quarter of you liked to rotate to the right instead of left..

Once you get past the basic step for any dance, there are patterns that exist to expand your repertoire.  I personally teach syllabus patterns.  And I'm not your wits and ye olde Google either.  I've had pretty good training and A LOT of experience, plus I love a good rulebook. I'm also not some kook with a YouTube channel making up Quickstep (does anyone remember that lady?!). 

I go for the super-simple NDCA syllabus patterns (with acceptable variations), not even the crazy-fun, long, and complicated Freds, Arthur Murray, or even DVIDA patterns (most of which I know for kicks).  I've heard comments that I teach weird patterns and combinations, but if you're in the learning process, aren't all unknown and unused patterns and combos weird?  

Sweetheart [Parallel Breaks/Cuddle in Rumba] seems weird to people who haven't "cheated" their timing before or to someone who learned Turkish Towel first.  Hell, the 6-count Underarm Turn [Circle Turn] is awful to those who have stayed in Closed Position all their lives or who think Rumba will always consist of "step side together".  And turning to the right (regardless of your Rumba rotation preference in the beginning)? Get out of here.  Awkward awkward awkward!

On the other hand, many of our students (who are mostly pro-am-ers who compete in syllabus levels) are happy to know that they have routines that fit the requirements (EVEN IF YOUR INVIGILATOR FRIEND AND HUSBAND PULL A MEAN AND HILARIOUS TRICK ON YOU AT ONE OF THE BIGGEST COMPETITIONS IN THE NATION) but don't look the same as everyone else's.  

The next time you think you're doing something weird, realize that you're just doing something new to you and that if you keep doing it, you might like it.  

Two years ago: So You Want to Be a Pro - The Myths

Five years ago: Dandelion Crowns

Six years ago: Facts About Motherhood

I'm Not A Beauty Blogger

I do not qualify in any way as a beauty expert, except that my sister-in-law stated that "I've never seen anyone in the real world, outside ballroom dancing, do contouring well."

So there's my qualification.  Not a great resume, but let's run with it.

I have four products that make my life infinitely easier and help me look like I care about my looks on the daily, but here's a secret:

Deborah Lippman Gel Lab Pro

Problems:

I never think I have time to let my nails dry after I paint them.

I can't stand it when nail polish chips, but I wash dishes, and build shit, and paint, and lift things, and type, and use my hands A LOT.

I like super bright colors... that show chips.

Solution:

This crazy base and top coat.  I bought it after buying a couple of Deborah Lippman's nail colors, which are always amazing (I also love Ciaté London colors and lasting power), and this stuff did not disappoint.  After using it, I went to get a "real" maincure for an event, the nail tech asked me if I had gels on, because it was NOT coming off with regular remover.  

I can wash a week's worth of dishes (think of how much I cook and how many people I feed) before there's even wear on the edges.  It is amazing.  Highly recommend.

Lipsense

Problem:

I talk. A lot.  Especially when I'm teaching, but also, just... always.

Lipstick will not stay on through my jabbering and it's my go-to "hey, look at how good I look" makeup move.  

"Long-lasting" lipsticks have generally felt kind of gross and dry. 

Reapplying lipstick between rounds of dancing was annoying, so much more so than that extra layer of hairspray.

Solution:

Lipsense.  Yes, that whole MLM product that someone has tried to get you to buy in a Facebook party.  Well, I love it.  I got one, tried it, and now I have 12 more.

It stays on through teeth brushing, my talking, eating almost everything (greasy burgers are the exception), sleeping (WHAT? SOMETIMES I DON'T TAKE OFF MY MAKEUP AT NIGHT), dancing, workouts, lots of sweating (aka comps and shows), and swimming (because sometimes you get fancy and then hang at the pool).  The colors are bright (well, the ones I get) and awesome.  It doesn't feel like hell 12 hours after I put it on.

I'm sure it doesn't work for everyone, but good God, I love it.

I DO NOT SELL IT.  I'm sure you know someone who does.  Ask me if you want a hook-up, though, because my girl is great.

Stila Stay All Day Liquid Eyeliner

Problem:

I have hooded eyelids.

I have slightly oily skin.

I sweat when I do active things (which is often).

I like eyeliner.

Solution:

This eyeliner.  I have tried MANY other products (including cult fav Kat Von D and the kind from the aforementioned makers of Lipsense, among others) and this one stays ALL DAY, as advertised.  I don't need to use an eyeshadow base with it, which is nice, because while I like to look put together:

Anastasia Beverly Hills Brow Wiz

Problem:

Eyebrows are annoying.  

Solution:

This pencil.  It stays on through all those previously mentioned activities, and is pretty foolproof to apply.

 

What are your go-to "I look put-together" products?  

 

This is for Tracy.  ^^^ :)

And So It Begins...

It's Ash Wednesday and that means the start of Lent and that means I'm coining the hashtag #NewLentNewIntent BECAUSE I AM A HUGE DORK.

But guys.  

I am giving up flour this year.  

Yeah yeah yeah, I know many of my buddies have had to do this for medical reasons and whatnot, and there are a million harder things to do, but SHUT UP I THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD ONE AND I'M STICKING WITH IT.

Do you "do" Lent?  Do you give up stuff or try to add a good thing to your day?  Don't you feel like Lent is sort of a latecomer's New Year's?  And WHY is the Easter season so hilariously out of tune with the regular calendar this year [Ash Wednesday on Valentine's Day and Easter on April Fool's Day]?

Happy Lenting, y'all.

 

For the Mamas (Rookies and Veterans)

Ladies, stop peeing your pants.  

I'm not kidding, mamas.  It's not normal.

I've had a more than a few children, which should put me solidly in the Peeing Your Pants is Cool Club from my in-depth analysis of the market*, but I refuse to join. 

For years, I have heard off-hand comments from all ages of mothers like, "Well, I had kids, so... you know." 

You know, in reference to strenuous exercise (hey Latin dancers during Jive), or other jumping up and down things, or coughing, or sneezing. 

The adult diaper market is on the rise, and not for 80 year olds.  They're targeting 30-50 year old women!  Because we think peeing your pants after having kids is normal.

!!!

WTF, women. 

It is not.

Would we really rather buy DIAPERS than do a few really simple exercises to fix the problem?

Good God, I'm not a doctor, but:

If this is happening to you, it's diastasis recti and not to be dramatic, but it's ruining your life.  It can cause incontinence (NO), bad posture (NAY) , a belly pooch (let's avoid that as much as possible), pain during sex (NO AGAIN), AND THE WEARING OF DIAPERS AS AN ADULT.

Probably most importantly though, it'll make dancing more difficult until you strengthen your pelvic floor.  And even non-mamas can give this stuff a whirl for a stronger core.

It doesn't matter if your baby is 35 days or 35 years old or nonexistent, this whole DR thing can be fixed.  

Here are some great resources for rehabbing your abs:

The MuTu System (BIG FAN of this program)

Pregnancy Exercise (a $10 program with lots of options)

Deliciously Fit N Healthy (it's free and I love her workouts in general, but her DR ones are awesome)

Not to mention you could Google that shit and get about a million more options.  Or talk to a doctor.  Or physical therapist.  It literally takes less than 10 minutes a day of deceptively simple exercises over a couple weeks to get this stuff under control.  

DO IT.

*Google and people saying off-hand remarks to me for years.