How To Perform Badly While Ballroom Dancing
- schlump. When you want people to think you're a terrible dancer, do your best to hunch. Lower you head, stick out your belly, and be as short as possible.
- don't smile. Everyone wants to see someone having fun, so try more "angry" faces. Channeling apathy, fear, or thoughtfulness also works wonders.
- dance off-time, or with inconsistent rhythm. Only dancers who know what they're doing dance with the music. By all means, just move your feet at any old time.
- wearing the wrong "furnishings". Ladies: strapless dresses and showing your bra are good choices. Your, and everyone else's, concern of a imminent wardrobe malfunction will make your dancing a second priority to what you're wearing. Men: white socks and white underwear are classic.*
OH WAIT. YOU MEAN YOU'RE TRYING NOT TO PERFORM BADLY?
PLEASE GOD, THEN, STOP DOING THOSE THINGS!
Tips for Performing Well
- stand up tall, you beautiful you.
- smile like you mean it.
- dance on time.
- wear something that looks and feels good. Second opinions and the chart below might help.
* Men, your in-depth version is coming soon.
Happy Friday!
Two years ago: Craft From The Past, in which I make stuff.
