You've tuned in for a long-awaited dance post. Not for these guys...
Let's say you are going to do some ballroom dancing in front of people. Like, perform. Maybe it's a showcase, or a demonstration at a mall, or a competition. Whatever the event is, I'd like you to keep this in mind...
- a strapless dress. They make me nervous. If you find a dress that you absolutely love that happens to be strapless, sew some nude elastic straps on it. This way, I will watch your lovely dancing and not be holding my breath and cringing the entire time you're on the floor.
- clear elastic straps on your dress. Notice I said to sew nude elastic straps on a dress, not clear elastic straps. They're shiny (not in a fun way) and distracting. They're clear, not invisible.
- bare legs. There are veeeeeeerrrrrrrry few ladies who can get away with non-fishnetted lower extremities. Buy your fishnets. Wear your fishnets. Be better looking.
- black shoes. Same goes for shoes with rhinestones on them, but to a lesser extent. Unless you have the best footwork on the planet, it is not great idea to draw attention to your feet. If you do have fantastic footwork, you are allowed to wear black shoes only if you wear black fishnets. And a black dress, but...
- a black dress. I loooooooove black dresses. How can you not? But it's easy to disappear into the background with a black dress on. If you choose to wear black, you must have a gimmick (like a fur cuff on your sleeve, perhaps) or a ton of bling.
- your hair undid. You got your pretty dress, your fancy shoes, false eyelashes on, but you have a ponytail in your hair? Go back to Go, do not collect $200.
- your makeup undoned. Yes, undoned. You got your pretty dress, your fancy shoes, your hair all did, and no makeup on? See above.
- a snap-crotch. Do I really need to explain? Sew it shut.
- no support system. I might have lost you on the double negetive there, but please make sure everything is... secure. In other words...
- an ensemble you have never danced in. Please try out your dress, fishnets, hair, and makeup in a dance situation before you perform. It is the worst to find out you A) step on your dress in Waltz B) need more bobbypins than you thought C) didn't cut the band off your fishnets and they make you look all lumpy or D) all the above. Or E) a million other unpleasant situations arise.
Boys, I left you out of this one because the fabulous Marsha Wiest-Hines talked about it here. But, make sure your pants fit (fit, in other words- are not tight) and wear black socks. Easy!
In other news, I've had the odd experience of sharing several people's wavelengths this week. This lady and I have been writing about cloth diapers. My long-time dance coach typed out a comment on Facebook that is the exact title for next week's dance post (which I had already written). As I was in the middle of writing this post, I read an article in our local dance mag by one of my fav dancing ladies that brings up similar ideas.
