A good cocktail should be like your antisocial best friend: a little bitter, keeps you honest, and takes some getting used to.
I mean, we're talking adult beverages here, people. As much as I enjoy my alcohol fruity, slushy, and accessorized every now and then...
when we invoke the word "cocktail", I have something more refined in mind...
You should feel like a bad ass drinking it. Even more so ordering it. Even more so making it.
Here are drinks that seem to qualify for Grown Ass Women Advancement League Happy Hour badge status (though feel free to make your case for any others):
Anything you drink out of a snifter
As seen above, just holding a snifter looks pretty awesome. But the stuff that you can drink out of them? Awesomer. (BTW, you're looking for brandy, bourbon, cognac and the like.)
Plus, your new profile picture could look something like this:
Anything that your grandparents ordered
Let's face it, our grandparents knew their gin from their ginger ale.
Anything that has its own season
Anything that's named after a city
Whether it's vague like "Cosmopolitan" or refers to a whole damn country, geographically-dubbed cocktails are where it's at.
Anything listed in this article (for the teetotalers)
Throw on some Sinatra, or Skrillex, WHAT HAVE YOU, and shake/stir/muddle/pour your way to a good ol' Happy Hour.